Yo dont text me then not text me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
