I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
