i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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