he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
