Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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