Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
