I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
