Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
