Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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