I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
