on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
