i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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