You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
