Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i barfeds in our rink
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
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