I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
