I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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