so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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