Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
