I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
