sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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