i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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