we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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