Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
