is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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