"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
