she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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