I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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