you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Randomize
