I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
