That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
