I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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