She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
