Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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