he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
