YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
