I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
