Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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