Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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