I swear she didn't look like that last week.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
