So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
