so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
