i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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