I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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