didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
