i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
