At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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