I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I can't put those talents on a resume
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
