I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
