def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
