are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
